


Kylo Hen and the Bantam Menace

by Tish



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bad Puns, Gen, SWST: Everything is the same except Kylo Ren is a chicken, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 11:39:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15929675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tish/pseuds/Tish
Summary: Kylo Ren is a chicken. He's not too happy about that.





	Kylo Hen and the Bantam Menace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Artemis1000](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis1000/gifts).



The tension on the bridge was ~~Palpatine~~ palpable, it was as though everyone were walking on eggs. 

“It seems Master Ren is in a foul mood,” whispered a lowly technician to his team-mate, who quickly slid away to busy himself with flicking random switches.

Next thing the technician knew, he was being dragged through the air by an invisible hand around his throat, ending up face to mask with the Master himself.

Ren clucked in annoyance as he mentally crushed the man's throat, dropping his lifeless body to the floor.

“Any other comments?” Ren sneered to the bridge crew, as they shuffled their feet in silence. Seemingly satisfied with their compliance, Ren returned to brooding.

  


He was still sulking 4 hours later when General Hux came on duty. Hux imperiously nodded to an aide, “Any problems?”

“Not exactly, sir,” came the reply, followed by a choking sound.

Hux span round and glared at Ren, hissing, “I wish you wouldn't keep doing that. All these dead officers really stirs up the pecking order.”

Ren was so pissed off that he punched a console, sending sparks flying into the eyes of the lowly, unnamed technician trying to finish his shift without dying.

Hux went over and placed a gentle hand on Ren's shoulder, his voice barely above a whisper, “I assure you, we'll pluck out those Rebel scum like the tail feathers of a Groxgliac chicken.”

Enraged, Ren punched another console. This time the lowly, unnamed technician anticipated him and ducked away as the sparks flew.

“Damn it, Hux! Why must you be so cocksure about everything?” Ren screeched, nearly shattering the specially strengthened and newly washed windows on the bridge.

An embarrassed silence settled over the 273 people on the bridge, except for a small ping from the console letting off a tiny, final spark.

The words resounded in Ren's head, shaming him. Now his chickens had come home to roost and he was left with egg on his face.

  


Halfway across the quadrant, Poe listened as General ~~Layer~~ Leia outlined the attack plans. "That'll put the fox among the chickens," he whispered to Rey and Finn.

From far away, Rey heard the anguished screech in her mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Extra information:
> 
>  
> 
> <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL_-1d9OSdk>


End file.
